Upon listening to our neighbors having a rather loud fight (it seems as if somebody has taken a page from the book of Tiger Woods) I was reminded of one of mine and Jordan’s favorite pastimes: the fake fight.
Sometimes when we are stopped at a red light we just suddenly have an urge to start screaming at each other when we know people are watching. Usually it depends on who is next to us. We have learned from experience that our “shouting” matches are generally wasted if there is more than one person in the car; typically they are already engaged in something else and not as easily distracted. If you can get everyone in the car looking at you though, that’s bonus points. So the best time is when older women or younger men are watching.
In order to engage in a fake fight one must have wide gestures and an animated face. Jordan and I have both of these naturally (there has been many a glass of wine knocked over due to my wide gestures). Actual shouting is not necessary as it makes one’s voice hoarse; however, if you are miming your argument you must be convincing. The old “watermelon cantaloupe” theatre trick works here if you can’t think of anything else to say. Every once in a while when we are feeling confident we will crack the windows and let a few obscenities fly. Every time I try to convince Jordan to fake hit me, but I guess because he is too good of a guy he always refuses. He also does not want some “hero” to follow us and drag him out of the car for a beat down.
So the next time you are stopped in traffic, use your skills and see if you can really convince somebody.
This makes me very happy! My roommate and I used to get into fake fights when we lived in the dorms, especially when there were large groups of tours walking past our window. We would always do a fake slap sound to liven it up.
ReplyDeleteThe fake slap is pretty brave. I know I would be enthralled if I were touring a campus and observed a loud and physical fight! It would probably even encourage me to attend school there.
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