Just To Remind You How Cute Erma Is

Because I have not posted in a while I am afraid that some people might have forgotten how adorable Erma is. This is her as a cute kitten.








And this is her as a cute adult and neck warmer.



Ahh, I love her!

I'm Back!

I know, I know, it has been a while. You see, I went on this vacation - an awesome vacation - and once a person goes on an awesome vacation, it is hard to accept that they will one day have to go back to real life. So I’m back, as a matter of fact I have been back for a rather long time, but I’ve been dreading the first post-vacation blog post because it is a lot of pressure. I really don’t feel like blogging about my entire vacation minute by minute because I would like to keep it as a pleasant memory for me instead of whoring it out with pictures and eighteen paragraphs about all the great stuff I did. Instead, I’ll just do that a teeny bit.

So here it is, I went to Italy for two weeks with my mom. That’s right, we both left our silly husbands behind to go to Europe, and I personally think it was an excellent decision. Here is the great part though, we met up with her Mountain Friend (my parents live on a mountain, so all friends in that immediate region are Mountain Friends) and the Mountain Friend’s sister, who doesn’t live on a mountain at all. My mom and I did Rome with just the two of us and then found the others in Florence and continued to wreak havoc on most of Tuscany and Umbria with them. We traveled into small towns, got lost in vineyards, saw a billion beautiful churches with amazing artwork in them, spoke Italian poorly, and laughed constantly, all while trying to keep to strict regimen of at least one gelato a day.

Here are a few things I learned:
-Men in Rome dress very well. They also flirt very well and excel at it.
-People in Italy do not obey traffic laws. Now that I think of it, they don’t really do rules very well at all.
-There is good wine everywhere.
-A smile goes a long way even if you have no idea how to speak the language.
-I have finally accepted olives into my life. It feels so sexy.
-Cameras are annoying. This is something that I have always known, but when I have a bunch of rude people at the Vatican pushing me around so they can get a horrible shot of The School of Athens just so they can prove they were there it makes me a bit grumpy.
-German tourists are jolly, while Canadian tourists can be snippy.
-Humans really are amazing. Our gang got our fill of art and architecture and between the Colosseum in Rome and the Justinian mosaics in Ravenna we were just flabbergasted at what humans can make.
-And one of the most important things I learned: If I really love a piece of artwork, there is nothing stopping me from one day going to see it in person. I don’t know why that never occurred to me before, and I know that I will not be able to do it again any time soon, but I am confident that I will be able to see more amazing art and architecture up close and in person during my lifetime.

So now I will leave you with some pictures (half of the pictures are on my camera, and half are on my mother’s camera because we are both technologically challenged, especially when it comes to strange European plugs):




Italy has too many ruins, they are everywhere! They make great benches.




Pigeons are gross no matter what continent you are on.




They really are cute, but I think the Pope has a better chance of defending himself with his pointy hat. I think Jordan must have been a Swiss Guard in a previous life.




Apparently lions really like to eat Christians because we kept seeing it everywhere.




Lunch is Assisi. Just another day of drinking wine and overlooking a beautiful valley...I mean I do it all the time in Delaware.




This? Oh, its just the view from our Villa outside of Arezzo. I just threw it in here even though its pretty similar to the view from my apartment.




Ancient Rome. Seriously, ruins everywhere.

What We Are Listening To

Nothing much going on around here in the Still Life household, but this is what we have been listening to lately. They are both covers, but they are both pretty groovy. Make it through your week by humming some solid beats. That is all.




The Jolly Boys - Rehab. I know, I know, its an Amy Winehouse cover, and its good.




Mos Def and the Preservation Hall Jazz Band - It Ain't My Fault.




The Two Gentleman Band - Swoon. A group my brother Davey pointed out to me. Older brothers always know whats best.

Cornbread and Butter Beans

This song makes me happy. You should probably go buy the Carolina Chocolate Drops album "Genuine Negro Jig". Ever since first hearing them, it is Jordan's new goal in life to play the bones and the jug, and I can totally see it happening. Enjoy!

Promise Me This

Almost two months ago Jordan and I found ourselves at a carnival. It was being held across the street from our apartment, in the lawn of a church, and for about a week we salivated at the bright lights and smell of popcorn every time we passed by it. Finally, on my birthday, one of our friends convinced us that a joyous occasion such as my birth is a good excuse to down a couple drinks and tempt them to come up again on the Gravi-tron. We had a pretty good time at the carnival, even though we realized that it was the land of pre-teen drama and shady vendors.

I learned two lessons that night.

First: Ferris Wheels are the scariest ride ever. At first I thought I would just enjoy the night breeze, moving slowly through the air, heck, maybe I could even spot our apartment! Then I learned that moving slowly through the air in a rickety basket, with half the lights flicking, is enough to make me want to ask the scary man to please make it stop. Seriously, while we were on the ride, some of the lights shorted out…what does that mean? Will there be enough electricity to bring me back safely to the ground where I can then kiss it and thank it for not being the air? Are we just going to be stuck up there forever, or is the entire machine going to just break and we fall in a heap to the ground? I pictured my death possibly 1,000 times during the scariest 4 minutes of my life.


(our Ferris Wheel was much less stable and had much more paint peeling away than this one, oh, and the lights work on this one too)


Second: Never ask Jordan to “promise me this”. As we were leaving I turned to Jordan with one simple request. “Jordan, will you promise me that you will never become a carny?” “Of course, my dearest wife” was the response. I left happily, feeling the bond of marriage as strong as ever. Of course he would never become a carny, do I even have to ask such silly things? Not four days later my charming husband tells me he has a job at the Maryland State Fair at the end of the summer. Ahem. What was so hard to understand about the most attainable favor I have ever asked? So, this past week Jordan has been working on his tan, alternating between guzzling beer in the middle of the day and smoking cigarettes, and trying to black out some of his teeth in order to prepare for his new gig. He worked this weekend and seemed to come home in the same condition that I let him go, but I’m worried that next weekend he might do something really awful, like get a tattoo of Tweedy Bird.


(Jordan's future look...I honestly don't know if this is a man or a woman)


Lessons learned, and maybe next time I'll make him promise to never buy me a pony.

Sleep: The Story of Bedtime in Three Acts

I love sleep.

Sometimes, you just have to get a little extra sleep, even though you know it is not the best plan. The other night was one of those nights. Jordan and I ate dinner, some cozy leftovers of pasta, and had a glass of wine. He then settled in to do some homework, while I took it upon myself to watch a couple hours of Law and Order: Criminal Intent (I know, its just awful, but I love it). I should have realized when I yawned a few times that I was done for, but ever vigilant I carried on.

Act I:
It all started with The Chair. It looked so inviting, with its lovely green cushion and little ottoman: a perfect cocoon of coziness. I decided that it would be the proper viewing spot for a mini Law and Order marathon. In the back of my head I had to have known what this usually means, but perhaps I was in denial since it was only 8:00 in the evening and I didn't want to admit to myself that I planned on going to sleep that early. I snuggled myself warmly into the chair, and then came Erma. Sweet little Erma. Now, what else am I going to do in a perfectly comfortable chair with a little cuddly ball of warmth sprawled across my chest? Erma is definitely a papazan chair whore, no matter who is in it, she is there, willing to lay down with any old person she is sitting with. So, naturally, about 11 minutes into the program, I fell asleep.

Act II:
I slept in the chair until almost 9:00 exactly. Perhaps it was the opening credits music that acted as my alarm clock? Well, of course I was a bit scrunched from napping in a little round chair with a creature on top of me. Looking around, it seemed best that I continue my TV watching on the couch where I could really spread out and even include a blanket to watch the second episode of Law and Order, I quietly swore at myself for taking nap so close to bedtime. I barely even finished listening to the theme song when I was asleep again.

Act III:
Another hour exactly. I woke up and looked around, slightly confused. Well, nothing left to do but go to the bedroom and go to sleep! I grumpily limped passed Jordan (limbs don't like sleeping on mere chairs and couches, they need queen size beds!) mumbled something about going to bed early and to remember to turn on his alarm clock. Another minute and I was out. Erma later joined me and we slept wonderfully until 7:30 the next morning. Seeing as how both Erma and I have very strenuous lives, its easy to see why we were exhausted.

Let's not lie here. The real reason I went to bed early is because I am lazy, and laziness aided by a few glasses of red wine encourages bedtime. I love sleep.

What I Would Take With Me

When I visit museums I like to play a little game called “if I could steal anything here, what would it be”. This game is inspired by a similar version that a family friend plays, only in her tamer version she just decides which piece of art she would like to own. When you place it in the context of stealing, many other factors come in to play. You have to realistically think about how you would remove this piece and what you are going to do with it when you leave. Art theft is a wonderfully lucrative business venture, and if one steals the right objects, retirement could be in the near future. I’ve marked my future nest egg investments all over the United States, and our recent trip to the Metropolitan Museum was no exception.

This museum is huge and one can only imagine how much the entire collection, not to mention the building itself, is worth. There is a huge range of art to play sticky fingers with…everything from Roman coins (although, those seem to be mostly behind glass) to huge paintings on canvas. Jordan and I had quite the task in front of us. I am usually a sucker for paintings as I hope to one day hang my walls with a variety of different two dimensional works hung salon style, but this time I was in the mood for some sculpture.




I found all the detached heads of Medieval religious sculptures to be rather appealing, and I don’t think I could be satisfied with just one, so I would have to steal an assortment of them.




Jordan was rather struck by the Met’s armor collection, and decided that he would like to steal an ancient samurai mask. I approve.




If we were some serious and innovative art thieves, I would very much like to steal Anselm Kiefer’s Bohemia Lies by the Sea. We’ll have to work up to it.